The Most Beautiful Moment In My Life...

This is a true story, but names have been changed for privacy reasons...

I was 14, I was unsure of myself, and I was immature. I had friends, two great friends in fact Lily and Hope. They were both great girls, they both liked a bit of drama like any 14 year old girl. There would be fall outs and bust ups. Me and Lily would argue a lot, but we knew really that we loved each other (and are still best of friends now). 

We were okay at school I wasn't there a lot, and when I was there I would be a bit on the bad side. But Lily and Hope still knew I was just an idiot and loved me for it. We were hung up with things like boys, and getting wasted at the weekend (like most British teenagers). 

Hope was a great girl, she was confident, fun and a good friend and had a big heart when she wanted to. And Lily was also all of the above. They were both very Intelligent also. Everyday after school would finish we would leave school and go to Hope and Lily's for them to get changed before we would go off and do something pointless like sit on a bench for hours. I couldn't go home because I lived too far from school. So this was just a normal day like any other. We causally walk up to graces house, happy as could be for a normal afternoon.

Now Hope's family were a bit different, and her parents should be commended for there ability to love. And through it all they both had sight problems. Both were basically blind. 

Now personally I would think it horrible to be blind like most. But her parents never seemed angry about it, in fact her mother always spoke in such a soft nice warm tone, as though talking to a child, but it was never patronising. Don't get me wrong things weren't perfect they obviously had arguments like most families etc.

Anyway on this day me, Lily and Hope arrived on Hope's doorstep. Hope went in and her mum was there in the corridor waiting for her. She looked very happy, like a child on Christmas morning there was a sparkle about her. She was a bit excitable, and she explained to us how she had been given some new glasses by the NHS..And that these glasses had made it so she could see slightly, especially close up.

So she then turns to her daughter Hope, who remember is 14 years old, and says, "come closer, Hope" and grace is a bit confused but shuffles closer. And as she gets quite close in her mum turns to her and says "This is the first time in 14 years I have been able to look at my daughters face properly!" 

At this moment me and Lily are a blubbering mess, this was a moment that two 14 year old's were not prepared for. It was like a blessing to be allowed to see such a warm and loving moment. And still to this day I remember it, it may be blurry with time, but its there warm in my heart. As the moment I learnt a lot more about life and love. 

How must this woman have felt to finally see her daughter properly after 14 years. It was probably one of the greatest days of her lives. And I would like to thank her for that moment, because no matter what even in the midst of all that teenage angst, I could still stop to recognise a moment of pure happiness. So perhaps those out there who have yet to feel a moment of pure happiness, perhaps they will never. Perhaps they treat others with hate and discrimination perhaps it's because they haven't had a beautiful moment to keep them in place ad remind them that beauty can be found in the most unexpected of places, at the most unexpected of times. And hopefully one day they will be blessed. 

So when Hope steps into someone's vision and you see that, then remember that Hope exists around you whether it exists in your current moment or not. It will come even if it takes 14 years.

The Most Beautiful Moment In My Life...

This is a true story, but names have been changed for privacy reasons...

I was 14, I was unsure of myself, and I was immature. I had friends, two great friends in fact Lily and Hope. They were both great girls, they both liked a bit of drama like any 14 year old girl. There would be fall outs and bust ups. Me and Lily would argue a lot, but we knew really that we loved each other (and are still best of friends now). 

We were okay at school I wasn't there a lot, and when I was there I would be a bit on the bad side. But Lily and Hope still knew I was just an idiot and loved me for it. We were hung up with things like boys, and getting wasted at the weekend (like most British teenagers). 

Hope was a great girl, she was confident, fun and a good friend and had a big heart when she wanted to. And Lily was also all of the above. They were both very Intelligent also. Everyday after school would finish we would leave school and go to Hope and Lily's for them to get changed before we would go off and do something pointless like sit on a bench for hours. I couldn't go home because I lived too far from school. So this was just a normal day like any other. We causally walk up to graces house, happy as could be for a normal afternoon.

Now Hope's family were a bit different, and her parents should be commended for there ability to love. And through it all they both had sight problems. Both were basically blind. 

Now personally I would think it horrible to be blind like most. But her parents never seemed angry about it, in fact her mother always spoke in such a soft nice warm tone, as though talking to a child, but it was never patronising. Don't get me wrong things weren't perfect they obviously had arguments like most families etc.

Anyway on this day me, Lily and Hope arrived on Hope's doorstep. Hope went in and her mum was there in the corridor waiting for her. She looked very happy, like a child on Christmas morning there was a sparkle about her. She was a bit excitable, and she explained to us how she had been given some new glasses by the NHS..And that these glasses had made it so she could see slightly, especially close up.

So she then turns to her daughter Hope, who remember is 14 years old, and says, "come closer, Hope" and grace is a bit confused but shuffles closer. And as she gets quite close in her mum turns to her and says "This is the first time in 14 years I have been able to look at my daughters face properly!" 

At this moment me and Lily are a blubbering mess, this was a moment that two 14 year old's were not prepared for. It was like a blessing to be allowed to see such a warm and loving moment. And still to this day I remember it, it may be blurry with time, but its there warm in my heart. As the moment I learnt a lot more about life and love. 

How must this woman have felt to finally see her daughter properly after 14 years. It was probably one of the greatest days of her lives. And I would like to thank her for that moment, because no matter what even in the midst of all that teenage angst, I could still stop to recognise a moment of pure happiness. So perhaps those out there who have yet to feel a moment of pure happiness, perhaps they will never. Perhaps they treat others with hate and discrimination perhaps it's because they haven't had a beautiful moment to keep them in place ad remind them that beauty can be found in the most unexpected of places, at the most unexpected of times. And hopefully one day they will be blessed. 

So when Hope steps into someone's vision and you see that, then remember that Hope exists around you whether it exists in your current moment or not. It will come even if it takes 14 years.

Live For The Love In Your Life

All the clocks are spinning back for me, colour turns to black and white. I can see the line across the sand you left, the division between me and you. One second you were here the next it's darkness, and it's my loneliest time of day now. This is Autumn and the dirt road is obscured by the seasons indecisiveness, my heart it waits for you to sing like a hummingbird, to float back like a drifting cloud searching for its ocean. 

Loss is the ultimate form of pain, to lose a smile, to a memory to lose a moment in time that should live on forever. To lose a person, to lose a loved one, to lose love.

But to embrace the now, and live for the love in your life, to live life that you love, is the essence of living and loving life. So tell someone you love them, enjoy a persons smile and remember it forever. Bottle a precious moment in your heart, and never let it go, open it when your feeling low, because love may last a lifetime but a lifetime may not last as long as love.

Live For The Love In Your Life

All the clocks are spinning back for me, colour turns to black and white. I can see the line across the sand you left, the division between me and you. One second you were here the next it's darkness, and it's my loneliest time of day now. This is Autumn and the dirt road is obscured by the seasons indecisiveness, my heart it waits for you to sing like a hummingbird, to float back like a drifting cloud searching for its ocean. 

Loss is the ultimate form of pain, to lose a smile, to a memory to lose a moment in time that should live on forever. To lose a person, to lose a loved one, to lose love.

But to embrace the now, and live for the love in your life, to live life that you love, is the essence of living and loving life. So tell someone you love them, enjoy a persons smile and remember it forever. Bottle a precious moment in your heart, and never let it go, open it when your feeling low, because love may last a lifetime but a lifetime may not last as long as love.

The Person I Wish I Could Forget

The Person I Wish I Could Forget

My brother, he's spent his whole life hurting me and other around me, all because of drugs. He was my first real experience with knowing the darker side of life, of learning the difference between the good and the bad..he was my first bad person should I say. I wish he wasn't, because I spent most of my life loving him, or wanting to be able to love him.
I know that he didn't want to do it, I know that he didn't enjoy causing so much pain, I know there are people out there who do enjoy causing other pain and that he is not one of them. But I want...need to believe that it's not his fault. When he wasn't hurting me the pain still echoed from the past, it was as though his eyes were a window into my childhood. He was the entity of my childhood negativity, the thought of him always provoked my deepest sadness from within.
He stole, he lied, he hurt and he could of died. But he didn't care about that, he didn't care that his life was precious, he didn't care that we could all see him ruining his life. He didn't care that he was destroying people around him. He didn't care that we all had to watch as my Mum worried and pined over losing her son, watching her being crushed over and over again.
He managed to blur the concept of family or me. I couldn't understand how I had such great brothers, and then this one brother confused my image of what a brother is, he tore away everything my life had been about every time he was seen sat outside my home waiting for my mum to let him in to let him pressure her and beg her for forgiveness that he would only ruin once again.
I often ask myself if things would be different if he hadn't started taking heroine, and now as I'm older I know that heroine can change a person, and control there actions, define their future. But what I also know is that he wasn't stupid, he knew the effects he knew the risks. And if it hadn't of been heroine, there would have been something else. He let the underworld drag him to his own hell, but he didn't stop there he couldn't wallow alone in his own hell he had to drag my family as far as he could with him, and that I hate him for.
He broke my heart so many times, he messed with my brain every time he walked or shuffled back into my life. Every time he came back I would hope that I would have my brother where a brother was missing, and every time he fed me lies, every time he used me, every time he was selfish, and every time I was broken.
Now if he were to walk back in I know I would still hope he was being truthful, but could never trust him again.
 Even though I'm not religious I pray for him just in case.
The thing is it's more than me and it's more than him, it's the more than anything it ever was, he has a child now, he shouldn't have a child but he does. She is beautiful, and she is my blood too, and I can't wipe her face from my memory, I fear i might never see her again. When I first held her I cried, because I knew (even though I didn't want to believe it) that I would probably never see her again. My own niece a child I can't help but love and t's her I wish I could forget not him, as he taught me to not trust everyone and to look for deciept. But I want to forget her, so that I don't miss her...
And just so she knows,
There's a place that only you can fill, just so you know, I loved then and I always will

The Person I Wish I Could Forget

The Person I Wish I Could Forget

My brother, he's spent his whole life hurting me and other around me, all because of drugs. He was my first real experience with knowing the darker side of life, of learning the difference between the good and the bad..he was my first bad person should I say. I wish he wasn't, because I spent most of my life loving him, or wanting to be able to love him.
I know that he didn't want to do it, I know that he didn't enjoy causing so much pain, I know there are people out there who do enjoy causing other pain and that he is not one of them. But I want...need to believe that it's not his fault. When he wasn't hurting me the pain still echoed from the past, it was as though his eyes were a window into my childhood. He was the entity of my childhood negativity, the thought of him always provoked my deepest sadness from within.
He stole, he lied, he hurt and he could of died. But he didn't care about that, he didn't care that his life was precious, he didn't care that we could all see him ruining his life. He didn't care that he was destroying people around him. He didn't care that we all had to watch as my Mum worried and pined over losing her son, watching her being crushed over and over again.
He managed to blur the concept of family or me. I couldn't understand how I had such great brothers, and then this one brother confused my image of what a brother is, he tore away everything my life had been about every time he was seen sat outside my home waiting for my mum to let him in to let him pressure her and beg her for forgiveness that he would only ruin once again.
I often ask myself if things would be different if he hadn't started taking heroine, and now as I'm older I know that heroine can change a person, and control there actions, define their future. But what I also know is that he wasn't stupid, he knew the effects he knew the risks. And if it hadn't of been heroine, there would have been something else. He let the underworld drag him to his own hell, but he didn't stop there he couldn't wallow alone in his own hell he had to drag my family as far as he could with him, and that I hate him for.
He broke my heart so many times, he messed with my brain every time he walked or shuffled back into my life. Every time he came back I would hope that I would have my brother where a brother was missing, and every time he fed me lies, every time he used me, every time he was selfish, and every time I was broken.
Now if he were to walk back in I know I would still hope he was being truthful, but could never trust him again.
 Even though I'm not religious I pray for him just in case.
The thing is it's more than me and it's more than him, it's the more than anything it ever was, he has a child now, he shouldn't have a child but he does. She is beautiful, and she is my blood too, and I can't wipe her face from my memory, I fear i might never see her again. When I first held her I cried, because I knew (even though I didn't want to believe it) that I would probably never see her again. My own niece a child I can't help but love and t's her I wish I could forget not him, as he taught me to not trust everyone and to look for deciept. But I want to forget her, so that I don't miss her...
And just so she knows,
There's a place that only you can fill, just so you know, I loved then and I always will

Celebrity: Sharon Stone left her Boyfriend-"Dreyfous"

Finally Sharon Stone realized that it's now time to leave her 24-year-old boy toy,Chase Dreyfous, for the sake of her family matter.It was back in June when she started dating her 26 years younger boy toy.Sharon had uncertainties about the 'romance' after her fruitless try to change a custody agreement with her ex-husband, Phil Bronstein, over living arrangements for their son, Roan.

The whole custody thing really devastated Sharon. She has always dedicated herself 100 per cent to her children. The stuff about the Botox and so on that came up in court was fully made-up. But the heartbreaking fact is it took the flash out of her connection with Chase. Right now her focus is mainly on her family.

The Botox allegation was one of the 'best' chitchats that flew around this year!

Celebrity: Sharon Stone left her Boyfriend-"Dreyfous"

Finally Sharon Stone realized that it's now time to leave her 24-year-old boy toy,Chase Dreyfous, for the sake of her family matter.It was back in June when she started dating her 26 years younger boy toy.Sharon had uncertainties about the 'romance' after her fruitless try to change a custody agreement with her ex-husband, Phil Bronstein, over living arrangements for their son, Roan.

The whole custody thing really devastated Sharon. She has always dedicated herself 100 per cent to her children. The stuff about the Botox and so on that came up in court was fully made-up. But the heartbreaking fact is it took the flash out of her connection with Chase. Right now her focus is mainly on her family.

The Botox allegation was one of the 'best' chitchats that flew around this year!

$100,000-- If you can get Jennifer Hudson's 7-year-old nephew Julian King.

Jennifer Hudson is offering a $100,000 reward for the safe return of her 7-year-old nephew Julian King. He's been missing since the fatal shooting on Friday of Jennifer Hudson's mother and brother.

In a statement Sunday evening from publicist Lisa Kasteler, Jennifer Hudson appealed to the public for its help, offering the reward and asking that any information be given to Chicago police.
"Jennifer and her family appreciate the enormous amount of love, support and prayers they have received while she and her family try to cope with this tragedy and continue the search for Julian," the statement said.


Chicago police ramped up search efforts for Julian around the Englewood neighborhood, where Hudson grew up, and transferred custody of a "person of interest" in the killings to state authorities.


"Detectives are working 24 hours on this case," said Chicago police spokeswoman Monique Bond. "There's a lot of forensic evidence. We have to work the evidence and try and solve this case. Most importantly, we want to find the child."

$100,000-- If you can get Jennifer Hudson's 7-year-old nephew Julian King.

Jennifer Hudson is offering a $100,000 reward for the safe return of her 7-year-old nephew Julian King. He's been missing since the fatal shooting on Friday of Jennifer Hudson's mother and brother.

In a statement Sunday evening from publicist Lisa Kasteler, Jennifer Hudson appealed to the public for its help, offering the reward and asking that any information be given to Chicago police.
"Jennifer and her family appreciate the enormous amount of love, support and prayers they have received while she and her family try to cope with this tragedy and continue the search for Julian," the statement said.


Chicago police ramped up search efforts for Julian around the Englewood neighborhood, where Hudson grew up, and transferred custody of a "person of interest" in the killings to state authorities.


"Detectives are working 24 hours on this case," said Chicago police spokeswoman Monique Bond. "There's a lot of forensic evidence. We have to work the evidence and try and solve this case. Most importantly, we want to find the child."

Jennifer Shows Up for Body Identification

It's always hard and painful for someone to identify your own mother and brother's dead bodies,but it's "standard operating procedure" for a family member to do this, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

Jennifer Hudson showed up to identify the bodies of her mother, Darnell, and brother Jason.

UPDATE: William Balfour is now under the custody of the Illinois Department of Corrections. Cops told us the IDOC have taken Balfour for breaking the terms of his parole.

The nature of the violations are unclear, but it's told that although Balfour is in the custody of the IDOC, the "homicide investigation is still active and ongoing."

Jennifer Shows Up for Body Identification

It's always hard and painful for someone to identify your own mother and brother's dead bodies,but it's "standard operating procedure" for a family member to do this, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

Jennifer Hudson showed up to identify the bodies of her mother, Darnell, and brother Jason.

UPDATE: William Balfour is now under the custody of the Illinois Department of Corrections. Cops told us the IDOC have taken Balfour for breaking the terms of his parole.

The nature of the violations are unclear, but it's told that although Balfour is in the custody of the IDOC, the "homicide investigation is still active and ongoing."

Search For Julian King Continues

Where is the 7 year old boy gone? Is he also dead or someone is hiding him somewhere? Will he be ever found by the authorities? The question remains.

The search for Jennifer Hudson's 7-year-old nephew continues to intensify. It is being told the operating theory among Chicago detectives is an "ongoing domestic dispute" between the suspect, William Balfour, and his estranged wife, Julia Hudson.

Chicago cops would not be more specific, other than to say there is an "underlying domestic aspect" to the investigation ... that there was "trouble in the marriage."

The cops continues to interview people, but no one other than Balfour is in custody. As for Balfour, so far no charges have been filed.

Chicago cops are now using flyers with Julian King's pic to find the missing boy.

The boy hasn't been seen since the bodies of Hudson's mother and brother were found Friday in her home in the South side of Chicago. The two had been shot to death.

The police will be handing out the flyers today all over Chicago, particularly on the South side.

Search For Julian King Continues

Where is the 7 year old boy gone? Is he also dead or someone is hiding him somewhere? Will he be ever found by the authorities? The question remains.

The search for Jennifer Hudson's 7-year-old nephew continues to intensify. It is being told the operating theory among Chicago detectives is an "ongoing domestic dispute" between the suspect, William Balfour, and his estranged wife, Julia Hudson.

Chicago cops would not be more specific, other than to say there is an "underlying domestic aspect" to the investigation ... that there was "trouble in the marriage."

The cops continues to interview people, but no one other than Balfour is in custody. As for Balfour, so far no charges have been filed.

Chicago cops are now using flyers with Julian King's pic to find the missing boy.

The boy hasn't been seen since the bodies of Hudson's mother and brother were found Friday in her home in the South side of Chicago. The two had been shot to death.

The police will be handing out the flyers today all over Chicago, particularly on the South side.

Jennifer Hudson seeks Aid

Jennifer Hudson has joined the campaign for her missing nephew, Julian King, through her MySpace blog.

It reads: "Thank you all for your prayers and your calls. Please keep praying for our family and that we get Julian King back home safely. If anyone has any information about his whereabouts please contact the authorities immediately.Once again thank you all for being there for us through this tough time."



Sincerely,

The Hudson Family

Jennifer Hudson seeks Aid

Jennifer Hudson has joined the campaign for her missing nephew, Julian King, through her MySpace blog.

It reads: "Thank you all for your prayers and your calls. Please keep praying for our family and that we get Julian King back home safely. If anyone has any information about his whereabouts please contact the authorities immediately.Once again thank you all for being there for us through this tough time."



Sincerely,

The Hudson Family

Breaking News: I Want my son back--Julia Hudson Says

An emotional Julia Hudson just stood in front of the media and begged for the safe return of her 7-year-old son, Julian King.

Julia, standing next to Julian's father Greg King, told reporters how the Hudson family was holding up, described her last moments with her son and explained that Julian would respond the nicknames "Juicebox" and "Dr. King."

Julia also said she was the one who told Jennifer about the terrible string of events that took the life of their mother Darnell and brother Jason.

Breaking News: I Want my son back--Julia Hudson Says

An emotional Julia Hudson just stood in front of the media and begged for the safe return of her 7-year-old son, Julian King.

Julia, standing next to Julian's father Greg King, told reporters how the Hudson family was holding up, described her last moments with her son and explained that Julian would respond the nicknames "Juicebox" and "Dr. King."

Julia also said she was the one who told Jennifer about the terrible string of events that took the life of their mother Darnell and brother Jason.