Monday, December 13, 2010

Teal & Orange Holiday Edition

Merry Holiday Festivus season boys and girls!  Today Santa's got a great present to share with you.  A brand new movie trailer just dripping with those classic holiday colors - Orange and Teal!

Can you guess what it is?  What's that you say?


Oh - Tron?  Well, no, that's an obvious choice - I mean it is absolutely drenched with those beautifully festive hues:

Just look at the amazing rainbow colors of those fireworks - I can taste every one of them: strawberry, blueberry, lime, raspberry.  It sure is remarkable how colorful the inside a computer can look!  Those Hollywood colorists sure had to get up early in the morning to dream up all of that!

I've heard folks say that this new Tron looks just like the original - that it HAD to be Orange and Teal 'cuz that's what it looked like way back when:

Hmm - but wait, what's that purple doing back there.  Here, let me waive my magic pipe, say three Ho, Ho Ho's and make it more Christmassy:


Ahh - now that's much better - That's how Santa remembered it.

Oh watch out for my new reindeer - they do get a tad restless when someone mentions the word "purple"!


Now wait a sec, those aren't reindeer - those look like hounds from hell from that new movie-

Yeah, The Tempest, that's what I wanted to show you.  A new adaptation of Shakespeare's great play.  You know...
Shakespeare... The Bard...
Ooh - now that's rather gloomy isn't it. Took the festive right out of festivus!  Let's give him a little holiday cheer shall we:
Much better!

Now let's take a look at this great new version of The Tempest:
What?... what is that?  Oh wait, that's the 1982 Paul Mazursky version - horrid, simply horrid colors with all that leafy green in there and that flesh tone looking all fleshy.  Let's update that shall we?


Oh... (sniff) now that's so much better (sniff) - brings me right back to my childhood - to holiday seasons past... Sorry, I'm getting too emotional here... just sit back and let the Christmas orange and teal spirit wash over you:


Ahhh - Shakespeare's work never looked better.  I couldn't have dreamed a more cheerful vision if my life depended on it.  Thank goodness these Hollywood art directors, colorists and directors continue to spread holiday cheer with their exquisite taste in color.

And damn what anyone else says. Eff those frigging other colors anyway - what did they ever do for me, eh?  I see you over there purple - yeah, and your buddy violet too - tell him and burgundy to get the frak off Santa's porch if you know what's good fer ya!  I got a sawed-off shotgun of TEAL and ORANGE with your name on it buddy!!  Awash!  Awash in ORANGE and TEAL my kingdom shall be!!  And all others shall shake in their puny pink boots!  SO SAYS SANTA!  SO SAY WE ALL!!  UNTIL THE DAY OF RECKONING WHEN THE OLD ONES WILL AWAKE FROM THEIR ORANGE AND TEAL SLUMBER BENEATH THE GIBBOUS MOON AND CTHULU SHALL SING THE SONGS OF THE COSMOS FOR THE GREAT NYAHJDGKJYEGKDYUAKS...Hdkjfhg...deakjkk...
ack...

Uh... Sorry Kids...

Santa had a bit too much egg nog there and all those beautiful colors kicked-off a sort of seizure (too much information, santa) Oh.. ok, anyway, thanks for sharing this holiday season with me and I look forward to seeing you all in 2011- forever spreading Teal and Orange goodness throughout the land.

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