Metro Station

I just can't believe it. When I think about how some bands get international recognition from perpetrating these kind of audio visual crimes, it just cuts me up. Metro Station are just horrible. Ugly, ugly teenagers peddling lazy dancey pop-punk with no sign of shame or referential knowing to anything that is right or good in popular music anymore. At least Jordy had integrity and sang with a true passion and insight for the trials he was living through. It's no surprise the French banned that kind of hardline truth-telling.
That Metro Station's video for Shake It (oh god, just the name makes me want to die) was the worst thing I saw on 100 channels of Egyptian and American cable television drivel on a recent family holiday to the Middle East speaks volumes. This is a country (delightful in so many ways save ludicrous swine flu contingency plans and, you know, human rights discrepancies) where every single damn music video is of a man in sunglasses and a white suit, covered in hair gel, moaning dross over early 90's quality keyboard string banks. EVERY SINGLE DAMN VIDEO.

The sheer number of cringeworthy facets of the song is hard to believe:
- The inital call to arms of 'LETS DROP' seguing into the most underwhelming excuse for a hybrid indie / dance beat imagineable.
- The senseless, banal lyrics about ugly teenagers touching each other and 'shaking it'. Seriously, the chorus is so pointless and awful that the lyrics genuinely lose any understandable meaning by the end of the song, like when you say a word out loud until it doesn't mean anything anymore.
- The singer's ghastly, terrifying autotuned sex offender-priest sigh-singing, gloriously backed up by the other chap's atonal nasal blurts.
- The damn breakdancing nerds.
- The 'singing' at the camera. So, so, so smug.
- The gangly fellow's diseased looking pierced face. And his name's Chase. Lordy!
- Just everything. The horrible guitars, boring drumming, Pro-Tools'ed everything.

It makes New Found Glory sound like Springsteen.

You stupid kids want good new music?: http://www.myspace.com/dinosaurjr.

There. God. TH