Given the title of this blog, it would be remiss of me to let the latest 'celebrity' outburst pass without comment. That's right, I'm talking about furious virgin crooner Susan Boyle (left), who has blown her Scottish top about something or other.
The only problem here is that when it came time to do any research for this piece, I immediately lost interest and started thinking about something else. I was reading about the story in the turgid freebie London Lite on the way home, and I decided that I should keep it so that I could refer to it later. But moments later, through a combination of force-of-habit and sheer subconscious good sense, I discovered that I had thrown it in the bin.
Then when I arrived home and started to read about the story on the interweb (now despised by my colleague Fred) a similar thing happened. Without realising it, and within seconds of starting to cast my eyes across the article, I had timeslipped into another marathon innings on time-wasting classic Little Master Cricket Game.
Can anyone really be surprised by the news of this lady going a bit mental? Some of the most rational, reasonable and hitherto composed people have been driven to distraction by media manipulation and/or circumstances beyond their control (Sir Isaac Newton, Phil Brown and Jesus Christ to name but three). And, let's face it Susan Boyle is at the very least one bollock short of the full scrotum (although, in fairness, that has not interfered with Lance Armstrong's inalienable right to 'tweet'). Let the woman get pissed-up and go mental. Just don't start moralizing about it, or being any more patronizing than you already are.
With any luck, Boyle will go the full nine-yards and get axe-murderous on our asses, starting with the repulsive, Les Dennis-jilting vacuum Amanda Holden, moving onto chinless muppet Piers Morgan, carving a chunk or two out of profesional c*nt Craig 'Revel' Horwood and finishing off with a countrywide massacre of all the morons who have talked down to this woman, tried to manipulate her appearance and lifestyle and made her a commodity when she is so obviously ill-equipped to cope
Jesus, I do care after all... AC
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